Crimson Escape
by LostInTheInterwebz
Summary: Duo thinks about suicide, and almost succeeds, but Heero doesn't let him. (Rated for blood, cussing, 1x2, hinted abuse)


Crimson Escape  
  
Date: February 26, 2003  
  
Chapters: One, Short Story  
  
A/N: I wrote this fanfic when I was breaking up with my boyfriend. Needless to say, I was extremely depressed when this story presented itself to my brain, and when I begin to write it, first in my journal, and then on my computer. It illustrates what I was thinking about doing, and then someone coming and rescuing me from the fate that I had bestowed upon myself.  
  
Warnings: Blood, Attempted Suicide  
  
Rating: R  
  
Pairing: Suggested 1x2  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
Why did he do this?  
  
Why again? I can't take it... It haunts me so...  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
He looks down from the mirror to the sink, his chestnut hair falling in front of his face in gentle, bouncing just slightly, his slim, nimble right hand closing over a razor slowly. He looks at it, one teardrop falling from his violet eyes, as he picks it up, looking at the blade, running his left index finger over it gently, as to not cut himself.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
He even said that he loved me... Yet.this thing.it happens often. The monster takes ahold of him.and I cannot stop it. There is no answer. No more.I wish there was no more pain. No other answer for me.than this.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
On his face is a terribly sad expression.a look only matched by those that are at the point of no return, the very bottom of sadness. His look turns to determination, as he brings the razor up, turning his left arm over, revealing the smooth white flesh of his inner arm and wrist.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Betrayal... That's what he has done to me... He says..he loves me... Then why would he do this? The pain.. it's eating me alive...  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Slowly, he brings the blade to his skin, his expression remaining constant, almost in a trance, as he closes his eyes. A couple more tears falling from him as he moves his hand a bit, starting to cut, the blade easily slicing his somewhat delicate skin. It leads itself down the inside of his arm, from his wrist to his elbow, curving just a bit at the middle.  
  
He turns his arm sideways, putting the razor back down on the sink's side, watching the crimson liquid run down, it twinkling beautifully in the rays that stream through the skylight above him. The fluid slowly drips to the floor as he looks at it, with an almost dazed expression.time seeming to stand still for him for a moment, as the dark red moisture begins to stain the carpet.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
This.blood.is so beautiful.  
  
What a fitting end.to my tortured life... My tribute to you, you jerk. I hate you.and I hate myself. I will hate you.for the next few minutes.while I am alive.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Not hearing the door of his house being unlocked, and opened, he takes a shaky breath, his body trembling visibly in the scant towel that he is clothed in. Shaking his head, he picks up the blade again, it now being bloody, as he puts it back to his wrist, as if to make another cut, to join the one that is already there. His eyes are open this time, an almost fascinated look making them glitter, as he starts this slice, watching the blade cut into his skin, beginning to cross this cut over the first one, slowly, not wincing once, as he continues to mutilate his skin.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
This.cutting.it actually feels good. No pain is touching my skin. Curious.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
A knock on the bathroom door seems to shake him out of this trance, making him raise his head questioningly, looking towards the door, as a monotonous, masculine voice proceeds out from behind it. "Duo! What are you doing? Can I come in?"  
  
He widens his eyes in horror, a soft gasp escaping from his paling lips. Now shaking, he looks down at what he was doing to his arm, and stops, dropping the bloody razor onto the carpet unceremoniously. "I.I'm doing nothing..wait a minute." His voice coming out thin, and wavering, as he turns around, going to the roll of toilet paper, and beginning to frantically clean the blood from his left arm, even though it kept coming out of the wounds, no matter how much he seemed to use of the thin paper, a nervous look on his face, his lips paling even more.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
God! Please don't let him come in here!  
  
I don't need this now.he'll probably just do it again! I have to complete this..but I can't.not while he is here. Damnit! Why can't he just let me die, and quit tormenting me!  
  
The doorknob begins to turn, slowly. "Are you alright? I'm coming in there." The voice comes again, deeply, and, to him, threatening, making him panic, and shake more, as he begins to rub her arm quickly, tearing the skin a little in his haste to get it clean before the owner of the voice comes into the room.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Why would you care if I was alright?  
  
You're the one who did this to me, you bastard! I hate you.go away!  
  
Damnit.why does this have to bleed so much? I can't get it off!  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
All of his haste was in vain, though. The door opens, revealing a darkly clad, dark brown eyed man, tall, strong, with a somewhat, emotionless look on his face, as he sees her, the boys towel being covered in blood on the left side, his arm slowly bleeding onto it. Duo straightens, looking at him sadly and ashamedly, as Heero goes over to him, his steps heavy, and determined, reaching over, and grasping him by the shoulders, squeezing them softly, looking into Shinigami's eyes, with his dark ones. "Did it happen again?"  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Of course, it happened again!  
  
Why wouldn't it? You would do this, if you had been betrayed like I had... Please.please don't... leave me in peace...  
  
I just wanted to rest in peace.. To end this pain that you put, and are putting me through. But you are messing it up.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Duo nods softly, making a soft sobbing sound, knowing that he had disappointed him again, a few more salty bits of liquid coming from his eyes, rolling down his slim cheeks. "Shh.baby.it's alright." Heero's voice being a whisper, as he leans down, gently kissing his lips, and stroking his face. "Show me your arm."  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
No..you have no right to touch me... Not after what you've done.. Betrayer..of my heart. You have no right to kiss me either... Bastard.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Sobbing a little, raising up his arm, he looks up at the Wing pilot, his face almost holding a fearful look. The cuts looked bad, deep, as the blood continued to pour from his limb, the flesh lightly ripped because of his insistent cleaning with the toilet paper. Heero looks at it, glancing, seeing how badly it was this time, he then looks back into the american's eyes. "Sit down.I will be right back."  
  
Watching him leave, he sits on the small vanity stool (1) that was in front of the mirror, looking down, ashamed with hisself, more tears finding their way down his cheeks. He holds his arm up, watching the blood flow steadily, his face paling more, his lips almost having no color as he waits, his body trembling a bit.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Damnit..you are making me live. I want to die! Why is it so hard to make you see that? I want to leave, so that you cannot do this to me anymore! I will just try again.some other time.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Heero's soft, heavy footsteps sound on the carpet as a signal that he is coming back. He quickly straightens in the chair, watching him. He sits down in another vanity stool, and looks at Shinigami, taking his wounded arm gently in his hands. "I won't hurt you, Duo.I promise." He reassures him, gently taking a rag, and beginning to clean his arm, holding it firmly, yet gently in his arms, cleaning it thoroughly, and gently, despite the Deathscythe's Pilot's squirming, and cries of pain. "Shh.it will be over in a minute." Taking some gauze, he begins to wrap his arm in it, starting at the wrist, and making it go down his arm gently, still firmly holding the limb, not letting it move, as he expertly dresses the wound, tying the ends together firmly, yet not too tightly at the end, near his elbow.  
  
"I.I'm sorry." A few more tears escaping him, as he looks from his arm to Heero's eyes, his carrying frightenment and pain, glittering softly.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
I'm sorry I ever met you.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
"It's alright..I know that it is rough.but it hasn't reoccurred in a month..maybe you need to begin to let your heart heal." His voice low, looking into Duo's eyes, bringing a rough hand up, and gently stroking his face with it.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
I can't! My heart won't heal!  
  
I have tried to make it heal! I have tried.too many times you have done this to me! Let me out! I can't sleep..or eat, because of what you have done! It haunts me, kills me from the inside. I hate you.go away..before you hurt me again.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
"I know..I just keep reliving it.." He whimpers a bit more from the pain, a few more tears falling down his face, as he looks away from Heero's eyes, sad.  
  
He smiles a bit, and looks at Duo helpfully. "It will be fine.you'll get over it. Get dressed..and we can go somewhere to take your mind off of it..okay?" He then stands up, seeming to tower over him, as he is sitting down.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Maybe I should do what you did to me to you.  
  
Maybe I should make you feel.this hopelessness.this entrapment. And see how you get over it! Jerk.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Letting out a forced smile, he nods. "alright.I'll be out in a minute."  
  
Smiling, he leaves the room, stopping silently to get any blades or anything from the room before he left. "I'll wait on you."  
  
Duo nods, and sighs, frowning, as he stands, and begins to search through the drawers, looking for something to wear.to cover his arm up.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Yeah.wait. I won't be here when you look back. I still have something.that will do what I want. I just need time.and I will fulfill this destiny that I have given myself. Just you wait. Keep me alive now. And I will make you pay. I swear it.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
The End.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
Notes: (1) You know.when you have that small chair in front of a vanity mirror with the cushion, and with the small metal back that people sit in when they want to look at themselves and put on make up or whatever? That stool. (I didn't know what it was called. ~_~)  
  
A/N: Please Review.and tell me what you think. Thank you! 


End file.
